The First Gift of its Kind

It’s half past midnight. I am really really sleepy. But since the next two weeks are going to be super hectic, I do not want to put this off. I want to write about this right away when all my emotions are fresh from the incident!

So I turned 33 yesterday! Honestly, I wasn’t too excited about it! In my mind I knew I had numerous things to be thankful for! To top it, Hubby has gifted a 2N3D stay in a beautiful resort, which we will enjoy sometime next month; I’ve been given the honor of doing something quite important at a event in church; so many loving wishes from wonderful people. But deep down in my heart, I was missing something. I just wasn’t feeling good about myself – just the fact that I am getting older, my weight gain and that stinging feeling of purposelessness! It made me miserable on the inside!

However, I masked it all with a smile!

In the mean time, KT came to know that it was birthday day-before-yesterday. From that moment on she was filled with this kind of joy and excitement that she has never expressed before! It’s not that kind you feel when something good happens to oneself. It that kind of joy you feel when something good is happening for the one you dearly love! That feeling of exhilaration you feel for somebody else!

When it’s KT’s birthday, I have this habit of counting down days to her birthday by asking her, “Kattu, do you know what’s five days from now?” And just when she tries to figure it out, I will yell, “It’S YOUR BIRTHDAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!”

I was about to hit the bed the night before. KT knelt beside me. Her eyes all wide in excitement she asks, “Mamma, tomorrow.. morning.. when you wake up.. What’s it?” I smile at her and she yells, “It’S YOUR BIRTHDAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!”

She ran to her Dadda, bugged him to bring the cake (which he was so unsuccessful in hiding it from me ;)), light the candle and  the three sang for me!

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It was a super moist, very tasty white forest cake! Each of us gobbled as much as we could!

Moments later KT snuggled into my arms and told me, “Mamma, it’s your birthday no.. So I am going to sleep next to you because I love you so much!”

The way she said it, I knew she meant every word! Her words were so genuine from her heart!

I was overwhelmed! I couldn’t take my eyes off her sweet face. The next few moments I watched her drift to sleep!

On the morning of my birthday, she woke up, gave me a hug and wished me! Soon she rushed to school!

When she got back from school, she was back in her excited state! She walked into the house and she frantically kept searching for something! I asked her what she was searching for and she replies, “Mama, I am looking for decorations for your birthday party!”

Later in the evening, she somehow dug out a couple of decorations I had made for her birthday. She arranged it on the table. She took a few nail polishes and placed it beside.

With a sad face she told her dad, “Dada, I don’t have anything to gift mama!” Vijay asked her to draw me a greeting card. She drew one and was still not satisfied!

All of a sudden, she ran and asked her Dada for a box. She went to a corner, put a few things in it, closed it and brought me the box along with an almost tattered old wrapping paper from the shelves and requested to gift wrap it without peeking in! I did! She placed the gift along with the decorations and instructed me to open it only after the guests come!

I had invited my parents in law for dinner. I was in one of those now rare cooking sprees. I had cooked mutton biryani, chicken curry and gutti vankaya! The food had turned out really well. We all enjoyed the dinner and were conversing with each other!

KT comes over and hands me her gift! I really couldn’t wait to open it! The minute I did, my heart melted! This is what she had kept inside – two candies, two bracelets and two rings beautifully kept inside a heart shaped box and a Barbie bracelet! All items that is very precious to her!

What I felt that moment is beyond words! Every negativity that was weighing me down just vanished! Like the Frozen movie quote goes,

‘Only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart!’

I have been so blessed to experience what it is to be loved by my parents, my brother, my husband, my in laws and friends. For the very first time I experienced what it is to be loved back by my child. She has always been a very loving girl – very lavish with her hugs, kisses and compliments. This was the first time she went overboard in expressing it!

There are a few mothers I know who have grown up daughters. I remember them often telling me what their girls gifted them for their birthdays and anniversaries. Although I found those gestures very sweet, only now I realized the intensity of it!

Many parents say in the movies, talk shows, blogs and in person how all the years of hard work and the responsibility a parent shoulders feels so worth it in that brief moment when you are loved back by your child. It definitely is true!

So here I am, 33 feeling deeply loved, highly favored and greatly blessed!

Trust Him to Teach

Who would have ever thought making a 4 yr old sit for 15 mins at one place to write her homework would be one ginormous task? At least I didn’t!

The whole concept of home work was alien to KT until she joined LKG. The very first day of school, her teacher, Ms. S, sent home three notebooks – for English, Tamil and Numbers respectively, to practice hand writing.

I got the pencil, eraser and notebooks ready. Gave her a pep talk on how important it is to do the home work, how it will not only make her teacher happy, but how much fun it is to learn to write! She seemingly paid good attention and appeared eager to start the home work. All she had to do was write one page of one English alphabet, one Tamil alphabet and one number! How easy that must have been!

It wasn’t =(

She took the pencil and just when I thought she was about to write, she started off with what happened at school that day. It went on for 5 mins. I listened. She then wrote one alphabet once. Before she could finish it, she heard our house gate screech and quickly escaped from my presence long before I could even realize to welcome my brother who got back from college. After 10 mins of narrating to him all that she had previously narrated to me, I dragged her back to the bench after much persuasion.  Although my mercury slowly began to raise, I was fully under control!

Almost an hour went by, all she had written was one alphabet five times. Her distractions and playfulness soon transformed me from a mom into a hysteric monster👿! I lost my calm. I lost my peace. I started yelling at the top of my voice (trust me, you wouldn’t want to see that avatar of me!) and the poor kid freaked out 😨!

(Now please don’t give me that stare😠! I endure sleepless nights! The demands of a newborn are not too easy to meet. Krissy constantly needs my attention. And its only during those couple of hours she naps, I can concentrate on KT! I hope you understand! Exposure to a sleep deprived/hungry woman can be dangerous!)

The next few days, just the mention of ‘home work’ scared the wits out of KT!

I was completely broken down by this episode – first for yelling at my girl and the bad example I set and secondly at the daunting task of teaching her! Just at that moment of despair, I heard a voice! That still small soothing voice! It whispered,

“All your children will be taught by the Lord, and great will be their peace.” Isaiah 54:13 NIV

I have read this verse a numerous times, heard sermons on it and thought it meant my kids will grow up learning about God and as a result they will enjoy peace. But only this time when I paid a much closer attention, I discovered something astounding!

My kids are going to be taught ‘BY’ the Lord!

Really?

Seriously?

How amazing is that?

The Creator of the universe teaching my child the secrets of science! The One who calls the very stars by name unravelling the mysteries of physics! The only Person who could convert water into age old wine explain chemistry! Those very hands that multiplied five loaves and two fishes to thousands teach math! And those very fingers that wrote the DNA of my being teaching my girls to write!

“This is three much!” You may exclaim!

Is it possible? How?

Yes, it is! Through me! Through you!

God loves our children so dearly. He longs for their company not just when they whisper their cute little prayers. He desires to be involved in every aspect of their lives – be it their health, hobbies, education, etc. He is ever so eager to teach them, guide them and see them scale great heights in life much much more than we do! Children are a gift from Him after all (Psalm 127:3 NLT)!

Sadly, many of us restrict God only to the spiritual aspect of life and oh yes, for protecting our  kids in our absence and blessing them with good health. We hold the reins of everything else and try to get things done with our own strength and wee bit of wisdom. The result – freaked out, stressed out kids!

When we are filled with the Holy Spirit, we allow God to work through us. All of ours is replaced with all of His – His love, His joy, His wisdom, His strength, His knowledge and His understanding. The result – His peace!

It is God’s peace that will enable our children to enjoy and grasp what they learn. They will not only learn their academic lessons, but also life’s invaluable lessons that no school, but only God can teach!

6tag_310714-175530KT continued to be her playful-self. But I kept my cool. I kept reminding myself that it was not by might, nor by power, but only by His Spirit (Zechariah 4:6) that I can win her over. Gradually things changed. These days the minute she arrives from school she does her home work!

A couple of weeks back, the teacher sent home the portions and time table for the 1st Mid Term Exams. (1st Mid Term Exams for LKG??? Slightly shocking!! It’s 2014, Mich. Not 1985 😱) Trust me, I had never felt so anxious even for my BE exams!

I coached her to the best of my ability and kept waiting for the results. Yesterday, KT brought home her answer sheets! (Allow me to show off a little, please! It may not be an IAS or IPS exam! Just LKG 1st Mid Term! But for me, it is the very first exam my little girl has written – so precious and unforgettable!)

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So proud of you KT doll! Mamma’s over the moon 😍

And thank you, Jesus, for a great start to an incredible journey!

In Her Little Heart

I cannot express what a happy mommy I am this morning! I’ve been longing and praying that KT encounters God long before I can tell her about Jesus. Of course I will keep telling her about Jesus and all that He has done is our lives, but then, I don’t want to restrict her understanding of God with my limited knowledge. I want God to reveal Himself to her in unique ways that from a very young age, long before she could read the Bible or comprehend a God, she’ll discover Him as a person – someone very real, someone that she can literally see and speak to. In other words, I want to discover Jesus through my little girl!

Matthew 18:3
And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.”

Matthew 19:14
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

This morning she was fast asleep. It was time to get ready for school. I kept waking her up. But she was deep in sleep. All of a sudden, with her eyes still closed, in a gentle, sleepy, but serious tone she whispered, “Amma, Jesus is in my heart!”

I was baffled. It’s something we never taught her to say.

Although a very simple statement. I strongly believe the Lord has begun His work in her little heart =)

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