Our littlest girl, Krissy, turned three on the 18th of June. We wanted to celebrate her birthday in a place where she can be let loose and lost in a world of her own. So Junibacken it was! Continue reading “K&K at Junibacken, Stockholm in Småfolk”
It’s half past midnight. I am really really sleepy. But since the next two weeks are going to be super hectic, I do not want to put this off. I want to write about this right away when all my emotions are fresh from the incident!
So I turned 33 yesterday! Honestly, I wasn’t too excited about it! In my mind I knew I had numerous things to be thankful for! To top it, Hubby has gifted a 2N3D stay in a beautiful resort, which we will enjoy sometime next month; I’ve been given the honor of doing something quite important at a event in church; so many loving wishes from wonderful people. But deep down in my heart, I was missing something. I just wasn’t feeling good about myself – just the fact that I am getting older, my weight gain and that stinging feeling of purposelessness! It made me miserable on the inside!
However, I masked it all with a smile!
In the mean time, KT came to know that it was birthday day-before-yesterday. From that moment on she was filled with this kind of joy and excitement that she has never expressed before! It’s not that kind you feel when something good happens to oneself. It that kind of joy you feel when something good is happening for the one you dearly love! That feeling of exhilaration you feel for somebody else!
When it’s KT’s birthday, I have this habit of counting down days to her birthday by asking her, “Kattu, do you know what’s five days from now?” And just when she tries to figure it out, I will yell, “It’S YOUR BIRTHDAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!”
I was about to hit the bed the night before. KT knelt beside me. Her eyes all wide in excitement she asks, “Mamma, tomorrow.. morning.. when you wake up.. What’s it?” I smile at her and she yells, “It’S YOUR BIRTHDAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!”
She ran to her Dadda, bugged him to bring the cake (which he was so unsuccessful in hiding it from me ;)), light the candle and the three sang for me!
It was a super moist, very tasty white forest cake! Each of us gobbled as much as we could!
Moments later KT snuggled into my arms and told me, “Mamma, it’s your birthday no.. So I am going to sleep next to you because I love you so much!”
The way she said it, I knew she meant every word! Her words were so genuine from her heart!
I was overwhelmed! I couldn’t take my eyes off her sweet face. The next few moments I watched her drift to sleep!
On the morning of my birthday, she woke up, gave me a hug and wished me! Soon she rushed to school!
When she got back from school, she was back in her excited state! She walked into the house and she frantically kept searching for something! I asked her what she was searching for and she replies, “Mama, I am looking for decorations for your birthday party!”
Later in the evening, she somehow dug out a couple of decorations I had made for her birthday. She arranged it on the table. She took a few nail polishes and placed it beside.
With a sad face she told her dad, “Dada, I don’t have anything to gift mama!” Vijay asked her to draw me a greeting card. She drew one and was still not satisfied!
All of a sudden, she ran and asked her Dada for a box. She went to a corner, put a few things in it, closed it and brought me the box along with an almost tattered old wrapping paper from the shelves and requested to gift wrap it without peeking in! I did! She placed the gift along with the decorations and instructed me to open it only after the guests come!
I had invited my parents in law for dinner. I was in one of those now rare cooking sprees. I had cooked mutton biryani, chicken curry and gutti vankaya! The food had turned out really well. We all enjoyed the dinner and were conversing with each other!
KT comes over and hands me her gift! I really couldn’t wait to open it! The minute I did, my heart melted! This is what she had kept inside – two candies, two bracelets and two rings beautifully kept inside a heart shaped box and a Barbie bracelet! All items that is very precious to her!
What I felt that moment is beyond words! Every negativity that was weighing me down just vanished! Like the Frozen movie quote goes,
‘Only an act of true love can thaw a frozen heart!’
I have been so blessed to experience what it is to be loved by my parents, my brother, my husband, my in laws and friends. For the very first time I experienced what it is to be loved back by my child. She has always been a very loving girl – very lavish with her hugs, kisses and compliments. This was the first time she went overboard in expressing it!
There are a few mothers I know who have grown up daughters. I remember them often telling me what their girls gifted them for their birthdays and anniversaries. Although I found those gestures very sweet, only now I realized the intensity of it!
Many parents say in the movies, talk shows, blogs and in person how all the years of hard work and the responsibility a parent shoulders feels so worth it in that brief moment when you are loved back by your child. It definitely is true!
So here I am, 33 feeling deeply loved, highly favored and greatly blessed!
Yet You are He Who took me out of the womb! Psalm 22:9
This was the verse that popped out to me on the morning of 17th June 2014 during my quiet time. I was about to leave for my weekly antenatal check up in the next hour. Moments later, I receive an email from Joel Osteen Ministries titled “Expect Bessings NOW”. One of the lines that grabbed my attention in that email was,
‘… Today, God wants to amaze you with His goodness.. Not next week or next month!’
3rd July 2014 was my EDD. Since I had to undergo a C-section for KT, doc said I will have to undergo a C-section this time as well. So on this check up, I was supposed to give the doc a preferred date for my C-section. Vj and I choose the 28th since it is his dad’s birthday and our baby’s birth would make it extra special.
However, after reading that verse and that email, I strongly felt God was upto something. I immediately WhatsApp’d Vj saying, ‘Looks like God’s hinting that our baby is going to arrive sooner than we planned!’ My intuition turned out to be right!
I go for the check up and the doc finds my BP slightly higher and asks me to get admitted for the night in order to monitor my BP! (Those medhu vadas I had been feasting on almost every other evening were the culprits I guess!) Soon they discover my sugar levels are high as well! Cutting the long story short, I was scheduled an emergency C-section the very next afternoon!
At the beginning of this pregnancy, a good friend of ours gave me a compilation of audio confessions for pregnancy and childbirth by Janet Angela Mills. It has powerful confessions covering every aspect of pregnancy and parenting. Those scripture promises mentioned in that audio was my daily dose of strength. It is what helped me battle all forms of negative thoughts, fears and doubts I was constantly bombarded with. (I strongly recommend this to every expectant mother. It will leave a lasting impact on you and your unborn child!)
One of the lines in that faith confession went like this – ‘…anointed hands will deliver my baby’! I often wondered how that was ever possible. Nevertheless, God had everything beautifully sketched out. An hour before my surgery, the hospital staff informed my parents that my doctor who was supposed to operate me was down with a flu and that they are going to call some doctor from the government hospital. That’s when Dr. Rani Jeyachandran, an anointed woman of God + a pastor’s wife + doctor, came to my rescue and my surgery was carried out successfully by her! It was then I realized that God has pre-appointed the people who will be involved in my children’s life!
On 18th June 2014, 02:25 pm (Let me squeeze in an interesting fact here – KT was born at 2:25 am!!!), our much awaited angel arrived weighing 3.8 Kgs and crying at the top of her voice! She was an exact replica of her sister. Slightly chubbier, but with a similar cherubic face, curious eyes and dense dark hair! We named her Kristine Samuel!
After several months of feeding, cuddling and changing diapers for a dummy baby doll practicing to be a big sister, KT was super thrilled to see and touch the ‘tummy baby’ for real! The very first thing she said about her baby sister was, “Mamma, she looks like an angel!”
Cradling Krissy in my arms I could only thank God for another priceless gift! Five years ago, I was hopeless when all my dreams of becoming a mommy were shattered when doctors could not find my Fallopian tubes (You can read more about it here!). Today, being a mommy of two precious girls is nothing short of a miracle!
From now on this space will contain Kronicles of K80 and Krissy =)